


Black Knight

by literaryqueenb



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Assassin Katsuki Yuuri, Barista Katsuki Yuuri, Betrayal, Minor Character Death, Oblivious Katsuki Yuuri, Revenge, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Smitten Victor Nikiforov, agency, diplomat victor nikiforov, minor OC's (sorry)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 11:10:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13739622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryqueenb/pseuds/literaryqueenb
Summary: Following the death of his treasured mentor, master assassin Yuuri Katsuki has to face that his life is completely different. His jobs have changed and he also has to face a bump in the road with the name of Victor Nikiforov. Will Yuuri give in to love? How will he deal with the new dangers about to come his way?"If you sit too close to someone you won't see the blade before they stab you in the back."





	1. Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> hey I'm new to posing here (help)  
> hope you love!

_Yuuri Katsuki_

 

  
Uniform. Glasses. Gun. Essentials. That's what goes in my bag every morning. Even now that my life has done a complete 180 turn. One side of the 180, my new job, I like. It's better than my previous job as a government treasurer; I get to top up on my lacking people skills, my colleagues are tolerable and unsuspecting and it's the perfect relaxed environment that I need since my real job is anything but relaxed.

However, the other part of the 180, I don't like at all. I don't like that the one person that meant everything to me, the one person that my world revolved around is now in a coffin underground, a piece of my heart lying in there with him.

As I leave my room, backpack on my back, I take a sad glance at the black suit I wore for the occasion and still haven't taken down from my wardrobe door. He's gone forever now. It's my duty to live on and carry on his legacy. It's the least I can do after he taught me so much, saved me from myself, made me who I am today.

Pushing those thoughts behind me for a later date, I run down the stairs of my empty house and pass through the door. London's cold air hits my face as I initiate my usual morning jog.

The jog is always the same, it always starts with me trotting past my highly capable, black, glossy Audi; feeling good about burning calories and not fuel. Not that it matters since my body is at peak performance and I have a seven figure salary. Regardless, I'm not really awake without my jog, when normal people can't function without their morning coffee I can't function without my morning jog.

After putting my earphones in and pulling up my hood to protect myself from the cold I begin with the main event; thinking. This is the prime time for my brain to go over what I need to do and how I'm going to do it.

I haven't got any jobs today but I still have to go to Assassin Unions HQ under Minako's orders. Now that my mentor is gone the Union needs a new leader. Things are changing at AU and as it's top asset I'm required to have an active role in those changes, which is perfect for me because although the new leader won't be as perfect as him I want to make sure someone he would approve of is picked.

Twenty minutes of turning the gears in my brain and watching my breath turn to steam in this spring morning later I arrive at my place of work. Today is one of those days I get to go to work two hours later since Minami opens shop. I can already see the red and gold boy pottering about through the glass window, serving customers with his usual animated smile.

As I push through the glass door of Yuko Coffee the bell announces my entrance, causing the small boy to whip his head in my direction. I always come right on time so he knows it's me before his big eyes even meet mine.

"Hiya Yuri-san! How was your jog?" He asks, way more awake than a college student should ever be.

"Not bad." I shrug, pulling my earphones from my ears, "how's college?" As I walk behind the counter, he follows.

"Great! Other than the fact that my classmate broke my camera stand..." His shoulders drop a par with his voice.

"Get them to pay for it" I mumble, taking my black and pink uniform out of my bag.

"They said they won't because it was accident. And I don't have money for a new one" he whines. I'm so close to telling him to knock them out with the back of a gun and steal their money as that is what I would do but Minami is just a civilian, he doesn't need to hear that, it's not something he could just do like I could.

"You don't think you could lend me some money Yuri-sannn" he clings onto my hoodie sleeve and pouts up at me, eyes big and pleading. As if it would ever work on me.

"You ask as If I've got the stuff flowing out of my ears" I shake him off me. I mean, I have got money, sure, but nobody needs to know that. They'll get suspicious if they find out a barista has millions in the bank.

Yes. I am a barista.

Anyway, the only reason I can have a flashy car and a nice house is because I can use my old job as a treasurer as an excuse.

"At least teach me how you make coffee so well so I can get the insane tips you get"

From the age of twelve I was trained to kill people so it's funny that I seem to have a gift for making coffee. Although my mentor always said; 'Do everything to the best of your ability, regardless of what it is' and that is what made me good at being a barista. When Minako relocated me to this job I did my research, I practiced and learned, only because of those words he said to me.

"Experience is key. You work, I'll get changed"

 

* * *

 

 

Hours later I'm working alone and it's perfectly fine because we have hardly anyone come in from 11-12. It's the gap where everybody is working. All the local business people come between 12 and 2. As for tourists, since we're situated near all the embassies it isn't exactly a hot spot for them.

Just when the clock on the back wall hits 11 am I push my glasses onto my face, pick up a mint green chalk from the small tray next to the till and approach the clean blackboard hung by the door that's just waiting for me to scribble today's lunch special on it. This is a café but recently Yuko had a kitchen unit installed so we can also make lunch between 11 and 2. And since I'm the only one at work I can pick whichever special I like, within reason.

I don't even have to think twice about what I'll do. Pinching the green chalk between my fingers, I fill the blackboard, writing katsudon in big letters and drawing a really simplified picture of the beautiful dish.

The chalk barely comes off the board before I feel someone looming behind me. How did I not hear the bell?

The person is tall, a man. I can tell that by the shadow they're casting on me. Instinctively, my body tenses, ready for the threat.

"Hm, what's Katsudon?" The voice thrums deep, close to my ear, pouring in, melting my guard completely.

I slowly turn and am happy to be seeing his neck rather than his face as he's looking up at the board. The neck alone communicates that the man is probably on the good looking side; it's flawless, strong, defined.

My eyes travel down to register his attire. He's wearing a traditional suit ; black blazer, slacks and tie with a white shirt contrasting. The tailoring of the suit is very well done, the blazer framing his broad shoulders and tapering in at his waist, stretching across his large arms and thick chest. He works out, that much is blatantly obvious. If he works in this area I assume he's a bodyguard.

My mind steps out of his body when I realise he's waiting for an answer. The second I sense his chin lowering I spin on my heel and get behind the protection of my counter. The man is going to be on some part of the hot spectrum and I have to be ready. I must make sure my expression doesn't falter. He can't know that I think he's attractive if it comes to that. That's a weakness. I have no weaknesses.

"Pork cutlet bowl. It's my favourite food, I really recommend it" I explain, taking a deep breath and turning to face the man with a generic smile.

I could never have expected the sight in front of me, nothing could have prepared me. He's not hot, he's the most stunning thing I've ever seen.

The smile slides inevitably off my face as I take him in. He has impeccable silver hair that catches all the light of day but doesn't match the brightness of his piercing blue eyes as they look right back at me. Under his skin lies a strong bone structure, doing his face a million more favours in the form of a sharp jawline, strong nose and good cheekbones. Never did I think I would face a human who looks like they've just walked out of the gates of Olympus.

"Well," he steps over and leans on the counter, not taking his electric eyes off me for a second, "you sound convincing, I'll bite." He smirks, making himself even hotter, "plus," His eyes cast down, burning into my neck, chest and waist as they evaluate me more intently than I evaluated him before. His eyes return to my face and focus on every part of it, making me feel defenceless even though I can handle myself better than anyone.

"I'm starving" his voice falls deeper at the words, eyes dark as he continues to swallow me with his stare. My throat feels painfully dry very quickly as I stare back not only because he's insanely hot but because he's trapped me in his web just by using words.

My heart is thumping compromisingly fast in my chest when I finally turn away, breaking the invisible connection out eyes had built.

Like clockwork, I dump the prepared pot on the stove and get started with the rest, thankful the sound of cutlery and the stove is masking the stupid amount of deep breaths I have to take to calm myself.

"Do you work around here?" I ask because his eyes are scorching my back and I can't take the heat anymore.

"Yes, the Russian embassy." That explains the slight Russian tone of his smooth voice.

"I'm guessing you're one of the big bosses" I note as I cut the prepped pork to size with a satisfyingly huge knife.

"You could say that. Why? Do I look like a big boss?" Unable to resist, I glance back at his face to see if it's as amused as his words. His enticing lips are indeed stretched Into a smirk and his eyes hold a devious glimmer, even the one half hidden by his fringe. My head whips back around so I don't have to suffer the embarrassment of him seeing my cheeks burn up.

"Expensive suit. That's all" I mumble half heartedly as the meat goes in the pot. I also find myself having to push my glasses up onto my head at the steam fogs them over, it keeps my hair out of my face too, win win.

"I like to dress nice incase I bump into somebody beautiful during my lunch break" this time my whole body turns, I lean my butt against the counter and watch as his eyes bore further into me. This is part of my people skills training, I need to face that I'll come across hot people in on jobs. If I can deal with this guy I can deal with anyone.

"Oh? How's that going for you?" I ask conversationally, coking my head to the side curiously. Well, he certainly is attractive, he can easily pull in beautiful people regardless of how high their standards are.

The man purses his lips and glances down, easing all that intensity from his pupils off of me. Then, his eyes return to my face as he flashes his perfect teeth in a smile. It's gone quickly and replaced by a soft laugh. His shoulders bob and his eyes shrink, wrinkling at the edges as he does so. That sound... God. I could listen to that gentle melody for the rest of my life.

"I don't know, the most beautiful people don't really catch on" he says as his laugh fades away, his eyes searching my face for an answer I don't know the question of.

Not knowing what to say, I shrug, offer him an apologetic smile and get back to cooking, ignoring the feeling of those clear eyes on the back of my neck, making my hairs stand on end.

"So Mr Barista, what do I call you?" I consider telling him it's none of his business but I have a name tag that's supposed to go on the pocket of black dress shirt for a reason. Taking the badge I forgot to put on out of my pocket, I place It on the counter in front of him and return to chop vegetables.

"Yuuri Katsuki" he breathes, almost fondly, every letter perfectly pronounced and tentative, like he's reading the name of the love of his life. Again, taken by curiosity, I look over my shoulder at him. His fingers hold the badge like it's made from glass and not metal. He's hot a small smile on his face and his eyes are fixed on the letters, bright and full of awe. This unusual man is making my heart annoyingly warm.

"You have a lovely name Yuuri" he sticks his large hand out with a smile that'd make even the sun jealous. His gentle words and the way he rolls my name off his tongue with that deep voice have my cheeks getting warm all over again. If Sara ever saw me like this I'd never hear the end of it.

He has a firm grip and shake and I match that although I'm melting inside. He doesn't need to know my weaknesses. It's when they know your weakness that people are truly dangerous.

"I'm Victor Nikiforov" he says, flashing a bigger smile and ending the handshake. But he's still holding my hand and now that it's no longer a formal greeting it feels so intimate.

His hand is warm and calloused un like my smaller smooth one. If I didn't wear gloves my palms would be shredded from the stupid amount of infrastructure I've climbed in life.

"Thank you Mr Nikiforov" I mumble, freaking out about holding hands with the hottest man I've ever seen after only meeting him two minutes ago. This is dangerous.

"Please, call me Victor" his hand slides out of mine slowly, tickling my palm with his fingers as he goes, increasing the tingling feeling dancing inside me.

"Have you worked at the embassy long? I haven't seen you before." I ask, watching him walk over to the one stool that faces the stove, leaving me no escape from his intensity as I deal with the rice. I only have two other customers, this guy could sit on one of the nice tables by the window but no, he sits right in front of my face.

"I'm new to London actually, I started work last week" I nod at his words as I clip my name tag on. I've only been here for about four weeks so we're both rather fresh to the area.

"Usually I skip lunch because I'm too busy. I'm so glad I was hungry enough to come here." I spare the eyes that are now level with mine a quick glance as I assemble all the food in his bowl. Of course that radiant smile is still there. I offer a smaller one back as I place the steaming bowl in front of him along with cutlery.

"Well Victor, you really should take better care of yourself" I meant the words to be friendly and conversational as a means to train my people skills but Victor's reaction is something I have to double take because his cheeks are pink. I'm forced to blink to see if I'm imagining it but this insanely hot guy is really blushing, surprised eyes glued to me and all.

Customers approach the counter and it's my saving grace, my excuse to escape his emotion. He really needs to keep that in check.

The woman asks for a latte and I get to it, working fast because it's become muscle memory.

"You have a nice uniform" the little girl with the woman says.

"Thank you, I like it too" I smile generically at her as I tap the details into the cash register. I don't like children. They're a liability, nothing more. I do like my uniform though, mainly because it's almost entirely black and I love the colour. My assassin name is Black Knight for a reason. Other than black there are hints of hot pink in it; I always have my sleeves rolled up and the inside of the dress shirt is all pink so that shows, and the top of my pocket is pink and the same applies when I roll the bottom of my trousers up. Also my apron is pink. I used to hate wearing it but it's really grown on me.

After I give the woman her drink and they leave I turn back to Victor who's in the middle of chewing.

"I like your uniform too" he says after he swallows, his adams apple bobbing in his pretty neck.

"Thanks" I occupy myself with moving all the stuff I used into the sink opposite.

"You know what I like more? This katsudon, it's amazing" he takes in another huge fork full and as I lean closer I can see he's eaten a lot in the time I was dealing with the other customers.

"Are you working tomorrow? I'd kill to have this again"

I should say no. I really should. I shouldn't ever see him again. I strive to have as little connections outside of the assassin world as I can. Having a lifestyle like mine means a lot of lying to people like Victor. I don't need that on my plate as well as all the other crap that's going on now. Like children, he's a liability to me.

But I am working tomorrow and I do have ingredients left and he looks so pure as he enjoys food I cooked... it won't hurt if I just see him one more time.

 

 


	2. Beginning Of The End

 

  
Once I finished at Yuko Coffee I walked home and got straight into my car without even going near my front door. I don't mind my colleagues seeing my uniform, Sara says it really brings out my face and the rest of my assets, whatever that means.

Having reached my destination, I use my clearance card at the reader to get into the car park. Our HQ is based in an office building near central London, we disguise ourselves as an insurance company when really we kill people the British government wants dead. As I work for AU, I'm not the type of assassin that kills cheating spouses or small time crooked business partners. I'm more of a political killer. We're ordered to kill corrupt world leaders that come to visit and so on.

Getting out of my car, I lock the doors and walk past Pichits red Ferrari, Minako's grey Range Rover and Sara's black Alpha Romeo to get to the lift. I swipe my black and blue clearance card on the reader and push 4. Of the seven floors the building has, floor four is sort of the common area, where we all get food and update each other on jobs.

I don't have to wait long for the lift to ping and the doors to seamlessly slide open, showing me the round tables and stools of the dining area. People mill about like particles in a hot gas, most of them probably Pichits staff. They're in charge of admin and making sure the jobs get to us without a problem.

Gathered around one of the white tables are all of the people I work with. Well, I mainly work with Sara as she's my partner in the field and Pichit my partner behind a computer.

I approach said table and loom behind Leo and Mickey, stretching to see what they're all so interested in. It appears to be... the front of a newspaper.

"Oh you're here, look at this" Sara says when she spots me, moving to the side so I can join the huddle. The headline of the paper reads; 'World's best assassin spotted in London'. Below the large letters is a picture of a figure climbing into a widow of a building, all that can be seen is a white boot and a white cape flowing behind.

"This isn't who I think it is..." I say to myself more than anyone, leaning over the table in interest. This is a person of interest.

"Yep Yuuri. You're looking at the great assassin Silver." Pichit clarifies from somewhere around the table. He's been sighted in Russia once before, a couple of years ago. Now he's in London?

If this paper was published a month before now I'd slit the publishers throat because my mentor was the best assassin ever to live. Although even now, I don't believe in its credibility.

"Looks like you've got competition Yuuri" Sara playfully elbows me in the arm. In response I straighten and look at her seriously;

"I'm not worried. The best assassin in the world doesn't get caught on camera"

That shuts everybody up, they all do nothing but watch as I leave the table and approach the famous wall of boards. I spend most of my time at HQ in front of this wall. It's made up of several boards; the largest is a black cork board, used to pin on jobs that anybody can do if they have a free gap in their schedule. I usually don't, my hands are too full with jobs that are personally sent straight to me. Pichit deals with those, the information goes to him from the government and he sends it on to me if Minako deems it appropriate.

The other boards are personal to us. These are digital. My one is right in the middle. What they do is display how many kills we've made since we joined and our successful kill streak.

"I've heard, in the air, that he's signed with The Agency" Pichit says, standing next to me, also looking at my board.

The Agency is a new constitution, as in only a month new. It's made up of the assassins that used to be part of us but left because they're cowardly traitors. It's the group that works inside the government. Although we take jobs from the government it's not that black and white. It's more like Pichit hacked into the government's database and we steal The Agency's work. The government knows, they must, they just don't say anything because we're doing them a big favour. In fact, every kill we make for them gets us a lot of state money, money The Agency is losing. I hope it pisses them off.

"They think we're after them, for killing N. That must be why they recruited someone as skilled as Silver." He crosses his arms over his blue dress shirt, thick brow knitted in thought.

Yes. N didn't just die. He was killed. My mentor was killed and it's almost certain somebody from the Agency did it.

That is why, nobody can be trusted. I used to work with Yuri Plisetsky, the little killing machine, Otabek, the quiet ex soldier that never settled for small guns, Jean, master of blades and Mila the silent ninja among others before one of them killed the man who taught me everything at no price.

"Or they're preparing to hit us again" I offer grimly, cutting my eyes at my board. I signed an official contract with AU at 19, in five years I've killed 580 people. My successful kill streak is 520. I'm not to be messed with. If they hit again, I'll be ready and hit them back one hundred times harder.

"If it comes to that you're better than Silver."

"I'm still not good enough" it's not good enough to be better than 'the world's best assassin' I have to be better than even N was before I'm happy. He always told me he wanted me to be better, to push the boundaries that he set. He could kill people with his eyes closed, he showed me once. I won't rest until I can close my eyes like he closed his icy blue ones and shoot a man between the brow like he did.

Pichit looks to his feet wordlessly as I zone into the approaching tap of heels against the marble floor.

"How are you Yuuri?" Minako asks, eyes soft when I look at them. Minako is a sharp woman but ever since N died she's softened her eyes for me. I hate it. I know she knows how much he meant to me but I can't stand her treating me like I'm somehow weaker or in need of help.

"How's the search for a new head?" I ask. I don't like when people ask me how I am. I'd lie to them most of the time, just like all normal people do. Minami is broke but when people ask him how he is he says he's fine rather than spilling about how sad life is with lack of money. Sara is destroyed about Mila choosing to go off and join The Agency but she doesn't cry about it when people ask her how she is. It's a pointless question.

"The position is yours if you want it you know" she smiles at me and I turn back to the boards.

"You know I'm not ready for that" again, I won't lead until I'm as good as N or better, even if it takes thirty years. I couldn't dishonour the Union he built by leading it with only half the skill he had.

"You should do it" I add. N never had anything bad to say about Minako, she's flawless at her job. She's like our manager, coordinating us and making sure everything is running like clockwork. He would approve of her. I know it.

"I'm very happy where I am. Anyway, we've found someone"

"Who?" I pay all of my attention to her.

"She goes by the name of Amber. She was the Director of a secret agency in the USA for some time"

"Does she have any connection to N?" I ask without skipping a beat. Sure, she has experience leading, but that isn't enough for me.

"Well, she's his god sons wife's twin" Pichit interjects from my other side. Of course he knows, he knows everything. Pichit is always ten steps ahead of everyone. I admire that, it's how you stay alive.

Sighing, I take off my glasses and push my hair backward. Minako and Pichit don't push my answer, they know what I'm like. I don't care if I keep people waiting. I don't make decisions out of pressure. I'll make them wait however long it takes me to decide. N's god son has to be a good man, a good man would marry a good woman in an ideal world, however the woman's twin... Who knows what to expect.

"Can I meet her?" I know that the likely answer is no, leaders like to stay anonymous, there's no way this woman's actual name is Amber. Just like N hid his name and didn't reveal himself to anyone but Minako and I; she is within reason to do the same. You can't trust assassins, If one of us were to get power hungry and we knew who she was, we could take her down.

"I can ask. Don't hope for much though"

"Have you met her?" I ask as my glasses slip into my back pocket.

"Yes. And I'll be meeting her again soon" she nods. There's nothing jaded about her expression which must mean she has no serious concerns about the woman.

"Alright... I'll only approve if you think she's fit for the job"

"You trust me that much?" She smiles, rightfully surprised. It's law here that everyone must fend for themselves. I don't trust Minako with my secrets but I trust her enough. The only person I fully trust with my secrets is Pichit, he takes it all without judgement and doesn't repeat it to a soul unless told otherwise. Sometimes I wonder if it's too much for him to hold so much knowledge and secrets within himself, but it's what he has to do to keep his head.

"I trust your word." N wasn't ruthless like people thought he was, he told me I should give people my trust if I thought they were deserving of it. And if that ever changed then they didn't deserve to be alive. That was his philosophy. It's mine too.

She nods and leaves wordlessly, her figure hidden by closing lift doors. Pichit and I are only alone for seconds before we spy Sara approaching. She must have come from or be heading to a job as she's dressed in her gear.

Her battle gear, as we like to call it, consists of black leather sturdy boots   
That hug the shape of her legs and finish just under her knees. Under those she wears black leather pants held up by a wide belt she uses for all her knives and other elaborate gadgets. As a top she wears this sleeveless black leather turtleneck that is somehow flexible although it's painfully corset like in appearance. Over that she has a thin black jacket with wide sleeves that are good distractions when swinging a knife around. She's even still got the scarf she conceals her mouth and nose with pulled down and around her neck. The only thing missing is her hood.

"Hey Yuuri remember we-"

"have a job tomorrow. Yes. I know" it came across as rude, as can happen sometimes when I open my mouth; however she just cracks a smile and rests her hand on my shoulder, her sleeve falling to reveal the black cloth around her slim wrist, acting as a wrist guard to take the stress of when she skilfully uses her knives.

"I gotta tell you Katsuki..." her face turns very grave, like she's about to tell me something of world ending importance. The expression is a little too exaggerated.

"I'm going to kill more of those bone heads than you" she grins and slaps my shoulder before turning on her heel and strutting off, her dark hair flowing behind her.

"In your dreams!" I yell after her, a smile breaking through my expression because Sara is refreshingly unchanged, the friendly rivalry I love still blazing.

"you remember all the details of the job right?" Pichit asks, bringing my mind back to where it should always be.

The hit tomorrow is on a large group, that's why the two of us are going. The very rich and very dodgy are making an illegal arms deal tomorrow, we've been asked to take them out.

"Of course Pichit. I was the one that followed them around for two weeks" I roll my eyes at him kindly because I know he's just making sure I'm ready so nothing tragic happens.

As we have no more to talk about I walk off, heading for the lift that will take me to my car. I have no more business here until tomorrow.

"Are you leaving too?" I ask Pichit as he steps into the lift behind me.

"Not for..." he checks his black and gold watch, "two hours"

"So where are you going?" My question is empty as my brain wonders to different lands. For the job tomorrow, we decided it'd be best to throw as many people as we can overboard and the job must be quiet, concealed by the night. As for the guns, that's what the clean up team is for.

"Can I just talk to my best friend?" He leans against the lift wall, eyes hinting distress.

"Whoever told you to be best friends with a professional murderer needs to be killed" Pichit groans loud, like he does every time I tell him it's ill advised for him to be my best bud. Although, he and I both know I silently acknowledge him as a best friend.

"You tell me some version of that same sentence every time I call you best friend" he stands straight again, sighing and stuffing his hands in the pockets of his black jeans.

"Look Yuuri, sometimes you need to pull your head out of this," his hands pull out to gesture passionately at the space around him, "and be human"

The lift doors open and I stride out, him following closely. The life I had before this... it was painful. I see no better way to live now, not when this is so much better than the childhood I spent in Japan. I don't want to have anything more than my life as an assassin, this I all I need, I won't dare ask the world for more.

"Is this your new way of telling me to stop being in work mode all the time?" I finally ask when we stop in front of my car, our footsteps ceasing to echo around the walls of the dim and quiet car park.

"Essentially" he nods. Pichit has always been badgering me to live for more than my job. I don't see why. This job gives me colleagues, it gives me experience, it gives me knowledge, it gives me money. Isn't that all there is to life?

"My work is my life. I can't help it" I shrug, digging for my keys in my pocket and taking them out as Pichit opens his mouth;

"Then add something more! Get out there" he leans close, excitement in his voice. This time it's not contagious.

"is this your new way of telling me to start dating?" I give him that flat unimpressed look I'm so good at and he leans away with a sheepish smile.

"Maybe..."

An image of Victor staring with those bright blue eyes flashes through my mind and actually strikes fear in my core. He shouldn't be in my mind at all, let alone pop up when Pichit yammers about dating.

"I couldn't do that to an innocent civilian" to me, civilians are just people to be lied to. Now, I'm highly trained in lying but I believe in only lying to people when occupationally required, not tricking an innocent soul onto falling for you when behind the mask you kill people who have families, lovers and children that care about them.

"Yuuri, you're good looking, young, smooth, smart, capable; A civilian would see you as a favour not a burden" he bribes. I know this is some kind of elaborate way of Pichit leading me down the path he wants, he's trying to brainwash me into thinking I'm good enough for someone out there. Well I'm better than that, I know that's not the case.

"Then why are you still single?" I raise my brow at him in amusement. He's good looking, insanely smart, young, smooth, capable, socially enjoyable and a great listener. According to what I've learned in my times going undercover, women love a good listener. That said, I'm not entirely sure if women are of interest to Pichit. Once he said to me, 'sometimes it's nice to have more penis and less boobs.' I really just let the quote speak for itself.

"What use am I as your wingman if I'm busy with a partner?" He retorts. A completely idiotic excuse.

"For the millionth time; you are not my wingman" I say sternly, hoping to get my message across. A man not looking for love doesn't need a wingman.

"Can't you imagine it? Meeting a nice girl or guy, seeing them, having fun with them, falling in love..." he looks up wistfully while I scoff at the idiocy of it all.

"I don't do love" is all I say before unlocking my car and stepping in it. Pichit knows I don't ever want to fall in love, I don't like love, I don't believe in love, I believe love is a weakness.

"You don't know until you try!" he yells after me when I pull out of my space to escape him. At least he won't be there to pressure me at Yuko Coffee.

Shit. I have to see Victor again.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this was SUPER boring. Victor will be back for the next chapter so don't leave me here. 
> 
> Check out my tumblr for pictures of the cars mentioned in the chapter (wifeofanime)


	3. Bump In The Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love.  
> Means nothing to me,  
> 'cause I don't know what it is  
> I'm just dying to be  
> All that I've been dreaming of  
> And words betray me,  
> Contradict all I stand for;  
> But I'm still learning  
> Yeah I'm still learning
> 
> \- Circles, EDEN

When I first started working here I hated sweeping. That was until I learned to use the time to think about work. Today it's inventory,  as I sweep dust out of the entrance and onto the street my mind gets lost in daydreams of my new iglasses. They're Bluetooth connected to selected guns and display stats such as ammo, bullet speed and power. Also, like the previous model, they display wind speed and direction and temperature. The gadget has a state of the art targeting system and it hooks up to Pichits computer, meaning they can ID people just by looking at them. It also makes his job easier because he can see everything I can see through them.

So caught in dreams, it takes me a second to realise I've just swept dust onto an expensive looking black polished shoe. My eyes only need to reach the man's chest before I know who it is.

"I am so sorry" fractionally embarrassed, I look up at him and gulp reflexively because I wasn't dreaming yesterday, he's still stupidly hot, standing before me, his straight and broad frame screaming power. All I can think as he stands there, gold rimmed shades on his face, expression set, is that he's so attractive, so intimidating.

"Hey Yuuri!" His previous expression burns to ash as he takes off his glasses and regards me with the brightest and warmest face I've ever seen from a human, eyes still taking me in as if they have more to learn about my boring appearance.

Completely blowing off the broom incident, he walks past me and takes that same seat in front of the stove.

"Do I need to ask?" I say as I get behind the counter, unhooking my apron and fastening it to myself. When I turn to him he's smiling almost shyly.

"I've been dreaming about that Katsudon" he leans on the bar, chin on his knuckles, eyes half lidded and smile wide. I simply watch, perplexed at how a man who screams power can even have a shy smile in his arsenal. He's turning out to be something of an enigma.

Once everything is on the cooker that loud introduction I can never be ready for regardless of my extensive training breaks the calm,

"The big nugget has arrived!"

Victor and I whip our heads to the door and see Minami striding in like he owns the place.

I've called Minami a lot of things; Ronald McDonald, half clean paint brush, Iron Man's child sidekick, chip, Spanish flag, but nugget is a new one. I see the logic though, you dip a nugget in ketchup and out comes Minami Kenjirou.

"The dream team is reunited!" He exclaims once standing next to me, showing me his palm for a high five.

Minami's smile doesn't fade even when he realises he's getting zero high fives from me. He takes hold of my wrist and slaps my hand against his, satisfied as he ties on his apron and whistles a chirpy tune.

"Do I smell Katsudon!?" His pupils blow out of proportion as he prances up to me and slides under the arm holding the handle of the pan, shamelessly absorbing the smells.

"Yes. And it's not for you" I say strictly but with a smile. Even I couldn't be upset at this walking ball of happiness.

Still hunched over, Minami cocks his head up, meeting Victor's bewildered stare. The boy let's out a low whistle, probably appreciating his incredible face before standing straight as a rod, almost knocking me out at how close he is to me, and sticking his hand in Victor's face,

"Hi! I'm Minami and I'm the poorest kid you'll ever meet!" He exclaims with a showman's smile. Victor and I blink at each other in astonishment as he takes Minami's hand and shakes it with a smile.

"That's a bold claim Minami" he chuckles a deep melodic chuckle that sounds like the very source of sin.

"Don't worry! Soon I'll get my dream scoop and I'll be swimming in cash!" He makes a swimming gesture, almost elbowing me in the chest in the process. I already start to feel a little nauseous because I know what his dream scoop is, I know this story. 

"Dream scoop?" Victor cocks his head to the side as he asks. He just had to ask.

"I want to be the first to photograph the never photographed before! Black Knight!" he claps his hands together longingly as a brick of unease falls in my stomach; just like every time he mentions the name.

If only he knew all he had to do to fulfil his dream is turn around, get his phone out, and snap a picture of me. He's that close. That damn close.

"What's Black Knight?" Victor asks. Doesn't he know curiosity kills the cat? and in no way am I implying that I'll kill him, no, he's sadly too pretty to be underground in a box. Just like N was...

"They are London's biggest legend. It's said the individual is part of the night, bringing death to those who sin." Minami, whispers, setting the scene.

This is the biggest bullshit ever. Death to sinners? I'd have to kill myself if that was the case. I'm an assassin not a grim reaper sent down from God.

"How do you photograph a legend?" Victor asks, leaning closer, seeming so interested that it's almost as if he's just entertaining Minami's fantasies; like a parent would when their child discovers the all fantastic but painfully common vending machine.

"That's what's great about it! Black Knight is like Atlantis, nobody knows whether it's real or not" 

Wow. If that's what people think about me then I'm really good at my job. You can get away with anything if you don't exist.

"I'm sorry, I'm not clear on what Black Knight does; slay dragons?" Victor may be pretty but he's a fucking idiot.

"No. He's a legendary assassin!" Minami says passionately. When is the direction of this conversation going to change?

"Assassins are a thing?" I am so glad Victor hasn't got a clue. He's less of a threat that way.

"Don't you read the paper? Assassin Silver was on the front cover yesterday" Minami sounds outraged. I'm kinda surprised Victor hasn't seen it, it was on every paper I saw yesterday.

"Oh I saw that. Apparently he's the best assassin in the world" I add, knowing it would be suspicious if I said nothing throughout this whole conversation.

"Incorrect. Black Knight is better" Minami says, short and concise. I like him more now. He knows what he's talking about.

"If they exist" Victor points out, literally pointing with his finger vaguely.

"The story doesn't seem like something someone would just make up, there must he something to it" Minami crosses his arms and nods decisively. I want to know where this story comes from now.

"Where is this story from?" I decide to ask. I hadn't questioned it before. 

"Apparently, a woman was shot three years ago. A bullet went straight through her brain and she survived. However the brain injury made her go critically insane. Anyway, she would sing about a ghost, a shadow. She said it came for her because she was a sinner, she said the shadow had a name; Black Knight, and that it was as black as the night. She'd go on about the shadow and how it would grow, it'd become powerful, maybe too powerful for its own good. And she'd go on about a blue feather. Nobody really believed her, they just thought it was the crazy talking. She was only in hospital one day before she was shot again. Shot dead. During the dark hours of the night. The killer still hasn't been found. So now,  people wonder whether it really was crazy speak or if it was something more."

Nobody says anything.

Lidya. That fat mouthed traitor. I should have killed her properly the first time.

The reason she knew my name was simple, she worked with me. We called her Red Rose. While my symbol is a blue feather hers was that, a red rose. She... she went insane before I even shot her. She became obsessed with blood, she started killing anybody just to see the blood drain from their corpse.

We were already planning to decommission her when she tried to kill me. She was jealous that I was taking her spotlight at the Union. That's what I think anyway, N said she was in love with me and wanted to kill me in her madness because I didn't love her back. I've never believed him.

Why did she say I'd become too powerful for my own good? What does that even mean?

"Well Minami, I hope you get that scoop" Victor winks charmingly at the boy.

"You know Yuuri, my stories come at a price" he leans his shoulders on my chest heavily. Or is it my chest that's heavy?

"Oh yea?" I ask,  trying to sound controlled. I looked up to Lidya before she lost it. It was hard for me to kill her. Infact, of the 580 people I've killed, she was the hardest. But as N said, if I could kill her I could kill anyone. Plus, it had to be done, she was killing innocent people.

"Katsudon" he whispers, pouting up at me. It's not helping my nerves that he's literally a centimetre away from me. Why does he always have to stick so close to me?

"Go away" I step back and gently shove him. He sighs dramatically and sulks to the store cupboard, Victor watching him leave with that same set expression he had at the door.

"He really looks up to you doesn't he?"  Victor says as I start to organise his bowl.

"He does? I'm only a barista" I murmur distantly.

"Not like that..." he smiles sadly at the store room door, like he feels sorry for it.

"Here it is, enjoy" I wrestle a smile onto my face as I place his bowl and cutlery in front of him, previous conversation forgotten as I clear up. I have to forget.

"Say... Yuuri?" I turn to Victor's voice and hope to god he isn't going to ask me anything to make my heart even heavier.

"You're Japanese right?" He asks cautiously, pressing the fork onto his pink lips.

"I am. Yes." Seeing that Minami is back out and happily attending customers, I lean against the wall and give my full attention to Victor.

"And katsudon is Japanese..." he finally takes the fork off his lip to point it at the food. I nod, a little on edge because I hate it when people dance around a point.

"Therefore I should eat it with chopsticks" he finally concludes.

"Well, that is how you eat it. I can give you a pair" he's nodding before I even finish. Interested on how this will end, I do as he wishes, handing him wooden chopsticks. 

Slowly,  he takes them out of the pack, snaps them apart, and grips them in his hand.  He has never used chopsticks in his life. This is going to be good.

"Alright Victor, you speak five languages, this can't be too hard for you" he whispers to himself, over focusing on the task at hand. I speak six but I commend him for knowing as much as five.

The Russian goes for a piece of pork and succeeds in awkwardly lifting it with the sticks, raising his brows at me like he expects me to be impressed. It's close to his happy mouth before It slides out of his grip. As I thought it would.

I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at the sheer amount of times he's trying and failing to just pick up pork.

"I don't think this pork is cooked properly,  it's running away from me" He protests. I just snort and cross my arms, enjoying the show.

Then he does something that makes me burst into laughter, he tries to pinch a single grain of rice with the chopsticks. He should be proud now, I can't remember the last time I actually doubled over in laughter.

"Yuuri" I hear him whine over my laughing, "this isn't funny" when I look up at him he's smiling fondly at me though.

"Alright," I compose myself and walk around the counter so I'm standing next to him, at a safe distance of course. "This is how you hold them" I take the sticks from him and demonstrable the correct form. "It really makes your life easier" I explain, leaning to pick up the smallest piece of pork and holding it up in front of him, "see? It-"

My words stop short when Victor surrounds the pork. With his mouth. To anyone it would look like I'm feeding him. Oh God. He's so close too,  close enough for me to notice his lashes are long and actually dark gray,  not black. Close enough for me to see his eyes are a sea of royal blue and turquoise.  Close enough to be trapped in those eyes.

"You didn't tell me this handsome fellow was your boyfriend" my head turns slowly and I jump at how close Miami is standing to us both. Thank God for him, he's shattered whatever trance I was in.

"What?" Victor and I say in sync, equally as confused.

"I've only met him twice Minami" I straighten, the chopsticks sliding out of his mouth as I do. It's a strange tactile experience.

"love at first sight is a thing you know" he elbows me a little too strongly, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that reminds me of Pichit.

"Love isn't even real Minami. It's a concept created by man to fool themselves into thinking they can be devoted to one person for their whole life and all the rest of that rubbish. Love also incites conflict. People would live better if they didn't love anybody" Minami looks completely blown away while Victor looks hurt. I probably shouldn't have said that.

"Is that really what you believe Yuuri?" Victor asks, eyes sad and pained.

"It isn't a big deal. What's all the fuss about?" I laugh nervously, trying to diffuse the thick air. It doesn't work.

"Let's all have coffee. It's on me"

I don't need to care about what they think. They don't know what it's like to live like me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know now that N, Amber and Lidiya have come up you must be groaning and I just want people to know that three oc's will be mentioned but only one of them will feature (have dialogue) as the other two are dead. Essentially don't worry about oc takeovers.


	4. Double Act

_"You've got four guys on deck"_ Pichit informs through my earpiece as Sara and I hide behind a huge crate of illegal weaponry, facing the black and sparkling sea that imitates the night sky.

"Three for me then" Sara says, voice muffled by her scarf. I roll my eyes behind my tainted iglasses and flex my fingers in my gloves, warming them up for some trigger pulling.

At the same time we draw our weapons; Sara opts for her basic black  handgun equipped with a silencer and I go for the same but times it by two. I'm not proficient at firing with both hands but I'm not letting Sara beat me.

We both stand at the same time, not giving the guards a moment to breathe before we open fire. Three men fall on my count and one on hers.

_"Look how the tables have turned"_ Pichit chuckles through the comm and I offer Sara a satisfied smirk which she can't see because my mask is in the way. It's made from layers of black metal, all assembled functionally yet in a way my face can breathe and stay safe. It covers everything but my eyes so I had my iglasses be fitted into the empty space.

"Ass" I can only see her cutting my eyes at me because my glasses have a night vision feature.

_"Get in through the top hatch"_ we both nod at Pichits words and follow his orders. The second you go against Pichits advice things go wrong.  He knows precisely what he's doing at all times.

Sara goes first, sprinting to the ladder with me following.  I always go behind her when we're on the move. I'd worry if I couldn't see her.

As quiet as cats, we climb the ladder to the top. The dealers picked a spot and time where nobody would be around, it works more in favour for us than for them.

The hatch Pichit was talking about is thankfully glass. Through it I see there's a metal bridge running around the perimeter of the ships interior. The perfect place to hide.

Sara is on the same page as usual, quietly opening the hatch and using the convenient ladder there to get to the bridge. I follow suit.

"Are we going for plan A?" She whispers as we watch the people below us. The room has nothing in it but a square table, four chairs and a ton more metal crates. As for the dealers, some look like thugs and others look like they own twelve yatchs, there's barely an in between.

"Yea" I whisper back, unfastening my sniper rifle from my belt and getting to work on setting it up. Plan A involves me shooting everybody in this establishment and Sara ensuring nobody gets out alive. I have high hopes for this, the bridge is a perfect place to shoot from.

"My work colleague knows about Black Knight" I add under my breath as I sort my gun out more systematically than I make coffee.

_"You have to take him out"_ Sara nods to Pichits words frantically.

"He doesn't know I'm Knight, he just knows _about_ Knight" I explain in an effort to calm them both down.

_"How?"_ He asks.

"That's the interesting part, I've become a small time urban legend because of Red Rose" I couldn't say the word Lidya, on missions we don't use our real names, you never know who's listening, even through Pichits secure comms.

_"Her? Nobody has talked about her for years"_ Pichit says.

"I know. Apparently those hours in hospital were enough to make her spill" I whisper, watching the people bellow as I double check everything is in place. In the four chairs sit the rich looking people. The thugs appear to be security and transporters.

"You should have killed her earlier" Sara murmurs next to me, also watching the people intently.

"I know" they think I took a day to kill her because I was on another job. But N and I knew it was because I was afraid to do it. I was so pitiful.

_"As soon as they open that case, you engage"_ Pichit says, getting back to business. We do too. My mind wipes everything not of use to this very moment as I lie on the ground and take aim at the blond lady in one of the chairs, the one holding the case. I barely pay mind to Sara as she disappears from my view. I don't need to worry,  she joined when I did, I have no more experience than she has.

_"On your marks"_ Pichit says when the woman turns the closed case to face her.

_"Get set"_ she's tapping in the code.

_"Go"_ the second the word comes through the comm the case is opened and I open fire. Taking out the woman, shifting to the man next to her and ridding the world of the two people on the other side of the table. They all go down like pawns, falling off their chairs one after the other.

The thugs all awaken and head for the case, yelling at each other. Sara jumps down from somewhere and lands on the table, protecting the money from their dirty fingers, waving her black blade at anyone who dares to come near enough.

After I start picking off people to help her out my phone wrings in my pocket. It has to be an emergency, anyone who knows me knows not to dial after seven.

"What is it? Is the world ending?" I ask after I pitch the call in through my comm.

_"That's a... different way to answer the phone"_

"Who's this?" I frown as I put bullets between unkempt eyebrows. I know the voice but I'm too busy to lend myself to finding out.

_"Victor"_

Shit. I had to put Pichit on hold just to get a call from a customer.

"How did you get my number?" Frowning even harder, I viciously fire at a man who was trying to sneak up on Sara.

_"Minami gave it to me when you ran off to get coffee"_

Curse you nugget boy.

"I'm busy so if you need to talk make it quick or make it later" I say over the echoing sounds of pain and anger the thugs are making.

_"Right um... when do you finish work tomorrow?"_

"Three" I say back just to cut the conversation shorter.

_"Would you like to spend some time at Hyde park with me when you're done?"_ Hyde Park, opposite the Russian embassy, well kept. I like it. I'll keep him company if it'll shut him up.

"Ah, yes sure" I murmur without much thought. Tapping my earpiece to end the call and get Pichit back online.

_"Did you just put me on hold?"_ Pichit sounds falsely outraged.

"Sorry. It was my car insurance people"

_"Oh, I get it"_ he sounds like he means it. He must get called a lot by them too.

Planning to get down to the floor to help Sala, I stand and start to pack up my gun. A vibration through the bridges thin metal stops me though. Somebody is attempting to sneak up on me. Slowly, I retrieve my sniper rifle and when I feel the person close I kick into fifth gear and swing the weapon across their head, knowing it'd send them over the bridge. What I didn't account for is him to grab my wrist as he goes over.

The fall isn't far but it gives me enough time to grab on to the nicely dressed man and use him as a shock absorbant. The sound of breaking bones is enough for me to know it's game over for him.

_"You alive?"_ Pichit pitches through.

"Very" I groan, rolling off of his immobile body and getting a visual on what's going on; we've landed behind Sara and between her legs I can see only five guys are left.

"Don't shoot me Lila" I announce as I run toward the table, leaping on to it and sliding smoothly between her feet. As I jump off the other side I hear her hold fire.

"You're not cool" she groans, the sound of blades being drawn complementing her voice.

Ignoring her remark, I grab the weapon of the closest man to me and disarm him before he fires with a simple twist of the wrist. It's said weapon that I use to kill him and a woman to my left.

"Excuse me" Sara's voice is melodic as she leaps past me and jams a knife straight into the throat of an unprepared bald man, his blood pouring out of the wound like a fountain when she takes the blade out.

The remaining two men are idiots for approaching next to each other because Sara drops the small knife and sports two longer ones, simultaneously plunging each one into the men's stomachs. They both yell in that same sad tone of agony. It's not the last thing one of them does though because a shot wrings out, hitting my Kevlar waistcoat and blowing me backward.

It's a really good thing he did that because from my position on the floor I can see the case is missing.

_"Quick! He's on the dock"_ Pichit says urgently. He had me at quick, I'm flying through the room and out of the door before Sara can even blink.

Concealed by my dear friend the night sky, I jump off the side of the boat and land on the pier, having to do a forward roll to maintain balance.

Two seconds of scanning the area later I spot a shadow move by a car. Pichit doesn't object so I rocket toward it, vaulting over crates of produce as I go, laser focused on the escapee. I won't let him get anywhere.

As I thought, inside the car there's a feeble looking man, panicking and fumbling with his car key, the case in his lap. He's a coward. This job is easy.

He doesn't actually notice me until I yank the door open. The man shrinks in on himself, sweat sticking his blonde hair to his head. He's protecting the case like it's his baby but his hands are trembling like those of a coward. A coward can't protect anything.

"Give me the number"

"I-I can't" he mumbles, fear in his brown eyes.

"Get out" Apparently he can do that. He slowly steps out and stands before me, knees barely holding him up.

"You can give me the number or you can die. Take your pick" I say, pressing the handgun I stole against his forehead.

"Or? Will you let me live? Please, I have three kids" he pleads. Ugh. He's one of those people.  So cliché.

"Alright, I will. But I want to watch you open it first."

"Thank you" he smiles at me and puts the case on the ground, crouching in front of it. I crouch next to him.

He rolls the first wheel to 9, second to 2, 4, 2. Then the case clicks, showing off fresh bills. I burn 9242 into my memory.

"9242" I say out loud, not for anybody but Pichit and Sara who are listening through the comms.

"Can I go?" He asks eagerly, looking back at the open car door.

"I'll need your phone" I hold my gloved palm out to him. Very reluctantly he slides the device out of his pocket and hands it to me. This man knows the case code he must know a lot. Pichit will have a field day with this phone.

"You've been great. Can I give you a last piece of advice?" I ask, sliding the phone in my back pocket and placing a hand on the man's shaking shoulder. He nods wordlessly.

"You should have thought of your kids when you joined the black market. Maybe then they'd still have a father" without a second thought I jerk his shoulder around and put a bullet in his forehead.

He was an idiot to think I'd let him live. He knows my voce, he is part of my job. I always finish a job.

"Right, we have the case, we have the guns. Let's call clean up and get out of here"


	5. And So We Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had the galaxy in his eyes and the universe in his mind

"Have a nice evening Yuuri!" Yuko calls from behind the counter when I push the door open with my back to leave as both of my hands are full with coffee cups.

"Thanks. See you later" I offer a small smile to her and step out into the mild cold. It's not too bad but it's excuse enough to wear my black leather gloves. N gifted them to me when he discovered my obsession with the accessory.

"Hey" I whip my head to the left to see Victor leaning against the edge of the wall, smiling with eyes as if they've seen me for the first time. God, why is his vice so smooth?

"Hi, aren't you early?" He checks his gold watch,

"1 minute 30 seconds" he says proudly, making me smile.

It must be his day off because rather than the usual suit he's wearing casual clothing; a white t-shirt, blue jeans and a nicely fitting tan trench coat. Wow, he dresses so well just to go to the park. Although, the clothes are very mundane in themselves but on Victor they look like sacred garments.

"I brought you a cappuccino" I hand him one of the black and pink paper cups.

"Thank you Yuuri. Shall we?" he signals to the park. Yuko Coffee is actually on a corner of a cross road, the corner diagonal to us is where Hyde park starts.

"Have you done anything else today?" I ask as we cross onto the park corner.

"No, just paperwork" he shrugs, sipping from the cup.

"You work on your day off?" I ask as we walk onto the stone path cutting through the grass.

"Yea... I'm never not working" he sighs at the floor.

"I get it" I chuckle, not as discouraged as him because I'm admittedly addicted to working.

"You do? Do you work two jobs?" Warning bells go off in my head.

"Oh no, when I worked for the government I had paperwork practically up my ass" I murmur, enjoying my coffee as we stroll. Situation saved. 

"What did you do for the government?" He asks, interest peaked in his eyes.

"Treasurer" I murmur.

"Like the treasurer?" He looks shocked by it. I would be too if a 24 year old barista said that to me. I only got the job because it covered a lot of my strengths.

"That's the one" I nod slowly, side glancing him as he stares, clearly impressed.

"I don't mean to be rude but how did you go from that to this?" He raises his paper cup as he asks.

"Running a team, making deadlines, always working... it's stressful. So, I wanted a relaxed job" That's a complete lie, I could handle the stress perfectly and I was forced to go when the Union was divided.  However, that job took up too many hours from me and I ended up losing an important amount of sleep.

"Also too much math" Victor laughs at that, the sound rich and heart warming.

"What did you do before you came to London?"

"I worked for the Russian government as a bodyguard, I still do it now every so often" so I was right about him looking like one.

"I'm curious about what you said yesterday; about love" he stuffs his hand in his pocket and looks into the distance as he asks.

"I'm sorry if I offended you" I say, more empty than I meant it to come across. He doesn't look offended though,  just curious. 

"It's fine. I was just wondering what makes you think like that" he peers down at me with an enigmatic look on his face.

"I don't know really. I guess I don't see what's so great about it; Aphrodite slept with Ares which means love attracts war right?" I shrug,  avoiding his bright blue eyes. Really I don't like love because it's pointless, it causes pain and most importantly it's dangerous for someone in my line of work.

"I like how smart you are Yuuri" he says fondly, so much so that I have to look. His expression is tender.

"I just read a lot" I shrug again, my voice muffled by the edge of the coffee cup. N was an avid reader, he loved it. The passion in his eyes when he spoke about books, the way he would always quote them and the wonderful library he had got me into it too.

"So you've never been in love then?"

"Evidently not" God, he's a little dense,  "have you?"

"No... but I like the idea; I like the idea of belonging to someone, of them being mine. You trust each other,  confide in each other, help each other in hard times, that sort of thing." He shrugs with a wistful smile.  What a sap.

"I want someone to come home to... man, I'm so alone"  he chuckles into the upturned collar of his coat but his eyes look so sad I actually feel sorry for him.

"Well ah... don't you work with a lot of people?" I ask, trying to lift his mood.

"Yea but none of them are gay" he sighs again before putting the cup to his lips

"Oh? You're gay?" I ask conversationally. So sad for all the girls that must be head over heels for him.

A choking sound comes from Victor.

"Was I not obvious enough?" His face swings my way with a look of shock and a hint of worry in it.

I shrug, "I'm just no good at people"

"What's your story Yuuri?" He asks as we walk passed the fountain. It looks dull today, maybe because Victor's eyes are stealing all the colour.

"What do you mean?"

"The way you think is interesting... what kind of past do you have?"

Well Victor, I had the shittiest childhood ever. I was on antidepressants at 12 because I was that sad. Nobody liked me. Nobody even looked at me. My parents didn't have a clue what to do. My sister, the only person who actually liked me died of lung cancer. I tried to kill myself a couple of times and N saved me. That's my past.

"I was a normal Japanese kid. At 12 I moved here because I didn't enjoy Japan and the rest is history"

"You didn't enjoy Japan?" He seems surprised. If only he knew.

"I had... issues. My uncle invited me here and things improved" I explain more to my coffee cup than to him.

"Oh I see" he fades into silence. This is what I meant by lying to civilians; now I have to remember my lies and make sure they're plausible. It takes up brain space I need for other things.

"What about you? What made you come here?"

"It was lonely in St Petersburg, I was in search of something fresh. When I got a call for a job in London I just left."

"But you're still alone now" I say, meeting his eyes. I shouldn't condemn him so soon, he's new to London. 

"Right... but I hope it's not for long" he smiles down at me, eyes searching my face the way they did when we first met. Again, I don't even know the question of the answer he seeks.

You can tell a lot by people's eyes. So many people I've killed had nothing behind them. Victor's got everything behind his eyes.

Like... he has the galaxy in his eyes and the universe in his mind.

Behind that immense blue I see the loneliness he speaks of, I see hope, I see uncertainty and so many other things I'm too inept to understand.

How many emotions can one human have?

He breaks his eyes from me to sit on the bench we've reached. I sit next to him, at a safe distance.

If you sit too close to someone you won't see the blade before they stab you in the back.

"Do you like ice skating Yuuri?" He asks out of the blue, taping the lid of his cup with a long gloved finger.

"Funny you say that, when I lived in Japan I wanted to be a figure skater" I was a fat kid back then, when I told people that's what I wanted to do they'd laugh in my face and tell me the only way I could succeed is if I ate all the other competitors. Even my parents didn't take me seriously.  I still skated though,  at stupid hours so nobody could see me and make me feel more worthless than I already felt.

Of course, when N proposed life as an assassin I accepted not because of the money or the skills I'd learn but because my targets couldn't put me down me if they were dead. Later I learned that was a shallow motivation and it became a mission to make N proud and surpass him.

"Really? You must be good" I must admit I expected him to laugh in my face like people did before, it happened so much it's burned into me. The fact that he isn't makes my heart warm.

"I don't know... Last time I went was like... four years ago" I remember the time distinctly because it was Lidya I went with. Soon after that is when her descent into madness begun.

"Let's go! As a follow up date" I should really, I've had this thing about ice skating since I had to kill Lidya. I can't have any weaknesses, getting on the ice again is exactly what I need.

Wait. What did he just say?

"Wait... this is a date?" I face him and ask; taken aback because I really didn't think of it that way.

Victor looks back at me,  caught in headlights, that expression he wore when I asked him if he was gay is back again. He looks away for a beat, seemingly gutted; then looks back at my confused face. His hand covers his face, two fingers pressed on his creased forehead. Then he laughs, but at himself, while I haven't a clue what's happening.

"Um... Kind of? I mean, I can do much better than this. You just seem like the type that would prefer to be eased in lowly." His voice is at a slightly higher pitch as he speaks to his hand, a weird smile on his face.

"Oh" Is all I say, to my lap, because I have no other words.

Then, my dear friends the demons save me in the form of a phone call; "Hello Chu" I drone after answering.

"You alright?" Pichit sounds concerned in an amused way. He knows I'm the typical darker than black assassin who's never really happy despite all the riches and whatnot.

"I'll be fine if you ever ask me. You know that" I lean back on the bench which gives me view of the way Victor has turned to me with a sad look on his face.

"Alright my depressed boy" he teases. Victor should be more like Pichit, blow me off and not care about the deeper meaning of the things I say. Or at least pretend. Maybe Pichit pretends he thinks I'm joking but actually cares. I don't know. 

"What is it?"

"A job"

"Great. Can I call you back though?"

"Why? You on a dateee?"  My cheeks grow hot because of all the times he's asked me that I actually am on a date. According to Victor at least.

"Bye" fed up with his meddling, I hang up and sigh at the sky.

"Who was that?" Victor asks, putting his empty cup down next to his foot.

"Some guy who thinks he's my best friend" huffing, I drink some more coffee. 

"As in he's crazy or you don't acknowledge that he really is your best friend?" His smile is knowing and teasing.

How does he have such an accurate read on me? He's supposed to be the open book. I'm supposed to be shut tight, pages glued together,  padlocked, in a safe, in the ocean.

"Latter"  I groan quietly, upset that I've been bested by an emotional sap with a pretty face.

"Do you... not like people?" He frowns and crosses one leg over the other, waiting for an answer.

"Not really. They're cruel, judgemental, stupid, emotional, dangerous, complicated, distracting and in the way" I mumble to myself. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have said that; It's the sort of thing that hurts people's feelings.

"Right" he looks away, expression cryptic.

"Don't make that face. You're only stupid, distracting and complicated" I flash a false grin his way and elbow his arm so he can see it. Thankfully he laughs.

"Oh I feel so much better now Yuuri" he says sarcastically, draping his arm over the back of the bench. I can feel his hand brushing my back.

"I admit that I'm stupid but how am I distracting and complicated? I think you're the distracting and complicated one of the two of us" he raises an eyebrow at me as mine crumple in a frown.

"I'm distracting? You don't look like anyone I've ever seen in my life. You could stand in a tube station at rush hour and I'd still see you first" I spout, a little too excited at the challenge. 

He stares for several seconds, his face growing increasingly uncertain, "in a good or bad way?"

"are you kidding me? You're b-" I catch myself before the word comes out. That was too close.

"I'm what?" He inches closer, mocking me with his expression.

"You-"

"Yes?" He inches closer still, dragging out the word and smiling wider.

"Balding!" I blurt though the pressure of his proximity,  just because it's the first b word I can think of that isn't beautiful.

Victor's face loses light, falling as he pouts in the cutest way imaginable.

"Yuuri! I'm really self conscious about my hairline" he whines like a sulking kid, dropping his forehead on my shoulder heavily. I sit very still,  very alert. His silver hair is tickling my neck and it's causing sensations I don't like.

"I didn't mean-" I give up and sigh, relaxing my rigid frame.

"What were you going to say then?" He lifts his head thankfully, eyes brightening all over again, "that I'm broad? Bootylicious? Brave?... nah those aren't distracting" I can't help the smallest giggle at the way he's animated and talking to himself.

"Oh my god do you think I'm beautiful?" The galaxy in his eyes bursts alive, supernovas exploding all at once.

Air clogs my throat as I claw for an idea to get me out of this predicament.

"W-why would I think that?" Great. I'm stuttering now too.

Victor deflates and sighs a sigh dripping with sadness.

"You know Yuuri, you're like London's sky," he leans back and looks up at it with a twisted smile, "There's something beautiful about it's darkness but everyone wants it to just be clear" he looks at me then; eyes fixed and penetrating mine. Is he saying he wants me to be honest with him? I can't do that. I have to deny everything, ignore it, so I don't fall off the edge of reality.

"I think the London sky is dull and horrible" I comment, referring to the actual sky and myself. Wow, he's right, I really am like this sky.

"Then you've been looking at it wrong this whole time" he says seriously. At this point I don't know if we're talking about me or the sky.

"Holy shit" I breathe when my eyes set upon something absolutely amazing.

"What?" Victor snaps out of his philosophy and looks around him. How can't he see the stunning grey Audi parked outside the Russian embassy?

"She's incredible" I breathe again, pointing at the modern car.

"Oh the Audi?" He says casually. We cannot be looking at the same thing. I've been obsessed with that car since I was 20. I just couldn't get my hands on it.

"It's one of the rarest cars in the world. They only make 15 of them a year." My voice builds with excitement as his face builds a smirk.

"You like it?"

"The things I would do to drive that thing just once" If I go any further I know I'd literally drool, my fingers ache to touch the steering wheel of that car.

"I'll let you drive it if you swear to come ice skating with me" Victor half whispers to me.

"That's your car!?" I almost fall off the bench in shock. He must be richer than I thought.

"It is. I'm glad you like it" I can see he's trying to look humble but it's all smug behind that paper mask.

"It's a deal. I swear I'll go" I shake his hand decidedly, choosing to worry about the consequences of my promise later.

"Alright, let's go" he starts to stand first but I beat him to the chase and he ends up being the one following me.

When I get to the car I slowly reach out to the it and stroke it's body like it's my intimate lover, feeling the sleek gray through my gloves. It's such an incredible car; fierce but elegant.

"For someone who doesn't believe in love you sure look like you're infatuated with my car" he looks at me almost longingly but smiling and clicks his key to unlock the doors.

"Maybe it's people that I don't believe in" I jest as I open the door to the passenger side and signal for him to go in. I really meant it jokingly but now that I say it I think it's true. You can only trust in people to screw you over in any of the billions of methods that exist.

Issue forgotten, I almost skip around the car and hurry into the drivers seat. The way I sink into the black leather chair is magical.

"This feels to weird, I've never let anyone drive my car" Victor chuckles, pulling his belt over his broad frame. He's going to need it.

"I swear I have no points on my license" I say as I marvel at the cars interior, everything is black, just how I like it. The wheel is also perfect, with a good grip and the shining Audi logo in the centre.

"Knock yourself out" he says, flashing a smile and dangling the keys in front of my face. My eyes follow them like a cat and wool before I snatch them.

I'm just putting the key in when he murmurs something more, "but crash my baby and I'll knock you out"

"I wouldn't dream of it" I retort back, pushing the key in all the way. When I turn it the whole board lights up with oranges and reds, adorning the black backdrop. I can't even say that the engine roared to life because it's so satisfyingly silent, background noise, only noticeable by the vibrations it's giving me through the seat.

"You technically work for the government right? An agent of social control?" I ask as I pull out of the space, already thinking to find an empty road.

"Are you going to ask me if I can get away with speeding?" He raises an eyebrow skeptically. He isn't so dense after all.

"Yep"

"If I give a good reason, yes" he says hesitantly.

"Perfect" a wicked smile slides on my face as I rest my hand on the gear stick, flexing my fingers in preparation.

The second I spot an empty road I sharply spin the wheel, the turn flinging us both to the side.

"Are you sure you haven't got any points?" Victor looks worried but not in a deep way. I can see he knows what's coming. 

Sending one smirk his way, I slam my foot onto the acceleration and crank the car into its highest gear.

We shoot down the long road, buildings just blurs through the windows. My smile only grows at the feeling of the G-force sticking my body to the seat.

The truth is, I thrive for putting myself in dangerous situations. I love feeling like I'm on the edge of life, like the smallest push could send me over. Strangely; driving fast, having a gun pointed at me, going on hit jobs, getting kidnapped... they don't shut me down, they wake me up. I'm addicted to that sense of challenge and danger.

I would feel bad that I've pulled innocent Victor into my potentially life ending tenancy but he put himself in danger the second he entered my life.

Again, I turn crisply, almost tipping the car before zooming down a road with two lanes, and cars. The stakes have just gotten higher.

I zone further into the task, quietly laughing as I approach the vehicles. Pushing the acceleration with more conviction,  I start to frantically change lanes, dodging in and out of empty spaces.

My blood runs hot by the time we get to the end of the road but when I take a left turn it doesn't run at all. Too fuelled, I hadn't noticed this was a one way. We're going to hit a white ford straight on.

Lightning reflexes click in, I spin the wheel frantically to the right as I pull all the way down to gear 2 and yank up the handbrake.

We do a complete 270° loop, drifting backward into a parking space, the back of the car hitting the front of another before we stop abruptly. Just like that it's over,  the danger is over.  It's this part that I love the most, knowing you were so close to death and suddenly being safe, that feeling of escaping fate.

After the Ford driver beeps aggressively and drives off the air around us is filled with nothing but us panting in our seats, air snaking back into our lungs. 

"What. The. Fuck" Victor breathes profoundly, one hand on over the dashboard and the other pressed against the door. Then we stare at each other, my hands still tight on the wheel.

Before I even know it's there, a laugh bubbles up from my throat. Apparently it's contagious and within seconds were both laughing without control, filling the car with the sound.

"That was insane; you're insane" Victor manages to squeeze through his deep laugh. In response I slam my forehead into the top of the wheel, between my hands, and nod in agreement.

"I'll pay for that" I whisper when my laugh starts fading, jabbing my thumb toward the back of the car.

"Don't worry. It was totally worth it to- to see you like that" the car isn't filled with laughter anymore, it's filled with heavy air, so heavy that it's hard to breathe.

"See me... how?" I say breathlessly, turning my head to look at him. I can feel his stare more than the leather of the wheel pressing in my cheek. It's as if I've unknowingly crafted my own web and he's completely caught in it.

"Happy. Alive. It makes you look so much more..." he swallows, a visible bob in his neck, and looks at the hand in front of him. He's nervous. How can Victor Nikiforov be nervous?

"Look Yuuri, you are distracting, in a good way. So could you just... give me a sign, tell me I have at least a bit of a chance?" His voice is low and deep as his eyes settle on mine and stay transfixed there, like they're unable to move.

I know I don't catch on to a lot of hints and signs in this field but this one is undeniable and I don't know what to say back.

I should say I'm not interested. He doesn't need to be hooked on someone like me. He needs somebody he deserves, someone who will sleep next to him all night and not go off to _kill people_.

But somewhere inside me doesn't want to let this man, this opportunity slip, and it keeps the words from coming out of my mouth.

It looks like... It's my turn to spiral.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know, I have a Yoi one shot up, a nice little Neighbour AU, check it out x
> 
> On my tumblr (wifeofanime) I believe you can find Victors and everyone else's cars if you look under the Black Knight tag. (Don't quote me on that)


	6. Conflict Of Interest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this seems disjointed it's because I joined up two short chapters to make a longer one

"He's in a black Hummer, you should be seeing it now" Pichit murmurs cautiously; sometimes he gets sucked into the moment and forgets he's sitting in front of a huge computer with five monitors in the safety of HQ.

"Yea, I have a visual" I murmur back, perching my sniper rifle on the ledge of the office window I've already cut a hole into. The Hummer slows and pulls to a stop outside an oriental restaurant across the road from the office building I'm situated in. It's almost midnight,  nobody's here, silence and emptiness eats the room. The place would be pitch black if it wasn't for the faint light coming through the windows.

The body guards come out first; from the passenger seat emerges a plain looking but built man in a suit and shades. From the drivers seat a silver head pops out. I don't need him to turn around to know it's Victor. Of course he'd be the bodyguard of one of Russia's biggest business tycoons. I wonder if he knows the man is also a mafia bigwig.

Man, they must have a lot of faith in Victor if they've only sent out this important man with two guards.

"See that man with the silver hair? His name is Victor Nikiforov. He's the head of security at the Russian embassy.  They're taking this seriously if he's on the job." Pichit explains, probably having just hacked an encrypted database to find the information.

I only swallow, because I know exactly who he is. He's the man I went on an accidental date with, the man I turned away from when he asked me to give him a sign. At least I told him to call me, at least I haven't let him slip completely.

I don't know why I'm happy about that.

Well, I didn't know he was the head of security. He is a big boss.

"I'd say you have a five second window" Pichit breaks through my thoughts, grounding me like he always does.

As soon as my targets head is in view I aim for it through my scope with the intention to shoot. But instead I swallow again. Body guards guard with their body.

He's already your weakness.

I fill my mind with black, erasing all thoughts, and pull the trigger twice. One bullet flies through a bin to Victor's left and the second through the skull of my target.  It worked as I thought it would, the first bullet distracted Victor so he couldn't react fast enough to the second.

"Good work Knight"

The other guard kneels by the body while Victor looks up at the building I'm in. It barely takes him a second to fix on my exact window. Shit.

While I hurriedly pull my gun back and attach it to my belt he draws his handgun and fires two bullets straight through the glass above me. One of them flies so close it blows my hood back. Shit. He's terrifyingly skilled.

He says something to the other guard before bolting toward the building.

"Get the hell out Yu- Knight! Emergency exit at 6 o'clock" so I do, once all evidence of me ever being here is gone I turn and bolt, my boots crunching broken glass and kicking office chairs out of the way.

Apparently Victor had the same Idea because I hear fast steps coming up the emergency stairs as I go down them. I have to think of something fast.

When I get to a landing the red of a fire extinguisher catches my eye. He's dangerously close.  Not thinking twice, I yank the heavy thing off of the wall and spray it in his face the second he comes into view. Using that as a distraction, I hurl the thing at his chest, causing his balance to crumble.  It only takes one powerful flat click in the chest for me to get him on the ground, weapon clattering to the floor next to him.

Apprehending the handgun, I sprint down the stairs quicker than I thought I could. He's surprised me so much in the space of one minute that I wouldn't be surprised if he had regeneration powers.

The claustrophobic feeling in my lungs is gone when I'm out in the cold air.

Shit.

Victor isn't just a weakness anymore; he's a dangerous weakness.

 

* * *

 

 

As Yuko and I serve customers, I can only feel guilty about last night. If my demons are kind to me again he won't come today, I won't have to face him knowing I kicked his ass.

"You alright Yuuri? You seem extra... thinky today" Yuko says as she ties her pretty hazel hair into a tighter pony tail.

I smile at her made up word but don't get time to say anything before the doorbell makes its sound.

"Yuuuuri!" Victor wails like an oversized child in a nice black suit. Fuck my demons.

"It's tragic!" He gains the attention of everybody in the café as he melts into a stool dramatically. I have a feeling I know where this is going.

"You didn't tell me you had a theatre boyfriend" Yuko murmurs next to me. Not sounding at all like she's joking. 

"He's neither of those things" I murmur back casually, not bothering to defend myself any further because even I can see what this looks like.

"My boss is so mad at me" he groans, manning up a little.

"For?" I ask. Feeling the guilt snowball.

"I got this huge business tycoon killed! Well, I didn't kill him, I failed to protect him from some sniper. Then, I chased him and guess what? He took me out with nothing but a fire extinguisher and one kick! And that bastard stole my gun. God.. extinguisher foam stings you know" he rubs his eyes as if recalling the scene.

I, the bastard, feel worse. Just looking at his sad little face makes my guilt rise up and spill.

"Let's go ice skating" I blurt, "Right now."

He blinks several times, every bat of his long lashes makes his eyes brighter.

"Really?" He lights up like a star and right at this moment my gamble is totally worth it.

"Yes you can get off work early. You're welcome" Yuko teases. She seems like she wants me to leave work.

Nodding to Yuko in thanks, I untie my apron and fling it on the hook before getting my stuff and coming out from behind the counter to stand with Victor.

"You are my saviour" he gives me another one of his fond looks and my heart accidentally flutters.

* * *

 

We both stare at the rink. Victor's eyes on the couples laughing and holding hands and mine just on the ice.

I can still see her, white hair flowing as she glided, skates twirling on the ice. She was a fast learner, like me. The second I told her I loved skating she learned. And we skated together, she refused to let go of my hand as we carved patterns into the ice. Just like she tried to carve a pattern into my chest, with a knife.

I don't even have enough saliva to swallow.

"I can't skate"

"What?" I zone back to the present, back to Victor. It's him I'm with now.

"I'm hopeless at skating"

"Why did you bring it up then?"

"I like it" he smiles sheepishly. Idiot.

"Well, you can hold on to the wall" I offer, busy jabbing the ice with the front of my blade, testing the waters.

"That's no fun" he pouts.

I say nothing back, just stare at him. I think, if I fill my mind with him I'll be fine. And it's not hard at all to fill my mind with the way his pale skin absorbs the harsh light, the way his cheeks colour in the cold, the bright intensity of his eyes.

"You okay?" He steps close to me like my eyes pulled him there. At that point I slide backward onto the ice just because it's the only place I can escape to. I remember how to skate, that's good.

"A natural, as I thought." He says, something flashing in his eyes. I think it's that sadness that's never really completely gone.

"Whatever" I mumble, making lazy swirls in the ice with my skates. There's a certain way Victor compliments me, I don't know if it's like that with everyone but his voice just hits lower notes. Better tones.

"Lend me your arm Yuuri" for a second a memory of one of my targets  trying to cut my arm off flashes in my mind. I ended up slashing off her head, it's a memorable moment. With a groan, I do as he says.

First he takes my hand, using it to pull himself right up to me, then his arms slide around my forearm, keeping him a lot closer than I would have liked. God, we look like all these stupidly in love couples surrounding us.

"Mirror my feet" I point down to the way they glide and Victor mimics almost perfectly.

We've gone around the rink once and I just can't hold it anymore, "You're a liar"

"Huh?"

"You can skate" I deadpan, giving him a disapproving look.

"Oh, busted" Victor sighs with an apologetic smile.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to..." His cheeks dust pink as he looks at the hand on my arm. He wanted to touch me? Be close to me?

For some reason I don't shove him off me but I continue skating, looking  nowhere but ahead.

"Am I too pushy?"

Yes. Get the fuck off me. Stop making me hopelessly fall.

"I don't- I'm not accustomed to this sort of thing" I mutter grumpily at the ice. My inability to say no to this guy drives me mad.

"Open up to it, let yourself experience it. You don't know what you like and don't like until you try it" his voice is breathy and low, it feels like he's so close, his voice flooding inside. Then he rubs his thumb along my inner arm and it feels so intimate.

I gnaw at my lip, revelling in the sensation of Victor, some unhinged part of me yelling yes to his words. It'd be so easy to just fall, open up.

But it's dangerous; dangerous for me, dangerous for him... though... I have an instinctual attraction to danger. 

A kid, about the height of Victor's knee, cuts directly in front of us. It's all chaos from then; Victor looses footing, loses control and ends up falling, taking me there with him. I hear his body smack the ice as my face smacks his chest.

"God" he groans, pulling a hand from under my leg and rubbing the back of his head.

"Are you alright?" I ask as I pick my body up and stay on my knees, one between his legs and the other on the outside. I feel too much concern to be comfortable with.

"Yea" he groans again, in a hot and raspy way. He rests his head back on the ice and let's both arms fall to his sides. It's a good thing it's not that busy or someone will skate over his hand.

"Looks like you can't skate after all" I snigger but hold out my hand to help him sit up. He takes it and heaves himself into sitting. I didn't account for us to end up so close though.  For the first time, I'm looking down at him, into the endless blue of his eyes. The longer we look, the longer we practically breathe each other's air, the blue diminishes, taken over by expanding pupils. Just like that, the air gets heavy, our breathing gets heavy, and...

When Victor's face moves to get closer still that damn little boy yells; "you two should kiss!" In the most screeching voice imaginable, small finger pointing directly at us. Everyone is watching now.

When I turn to look at him I know I've got that expression on my face; that one I have when I'm in the middle of stabbing or shooting; ruthless, raging, poisonous. And I know the expression the boy gives back is that one kids have when they're about to pee their pants. I hate kids so much that seeing him like that makes me happy.

Rolling out of Victor's space, I rocket toward the terrified boy and stop short right in front of him, propelling shavings of ice into his face. A 360 spin later and I'm bending over in front of the boy, eye level, hands behind my back.

"Don't you think you should apologise to my friend, brat." I smile, all mouth no eyes, before gliding out of the way and signalling to Victor who's in the process of picking himself up from the ice.

He nods wordlessly, pupils almost shaking in fear.  This kid is never going to go ice skating again.

From my position I gladly watch him go up to Victor and mutter an apology.  Victor responds well, smiling and patting the boys head before sending him off. It's when he looks at me that reality sets in. We both know what he was about to do. It hurts my chest to think that I wasn't going to move.

It's too late. He's not just my weakness; He's my downfall.


	7. Ying  Yang

 

 _"Nice work, come to mine, let's have pizza"_ Pichit says as if I have no choice.

"When have you ever seen me eat pizza?" My face twists at the thought of the awful cheap food as I step on my victim's chest to walk away from him. I had to drag him behind the arsenal gift shop and he is one fat man. He must of eaten teens as well as rape them.

 _"Alright; I'll make a prawn salad just for you but please come over, I'm such a loner in my huge ass house"_ Pichit whines. He makes a lot of money and spends even more so naturally he lives in Highgate, where all the houses are expensive and huge.

"Deal. But put a pizza near me and I'll burn it using chunks of you as coal"

 _"You're so good to me"_ he coos as he does whenever I threaten to kill him.

 _"Knight!"_ The mood changes then because that's not Pichit, it's Minako and she doesn't sound like she wants to join in with our plans.

"What is it M?" My face sets from the smile Pichit put on it.

_"Silver has been sighted two blocks from Arsenal station, Amber wants you to take him down"_

_"She just became head this morning and she's already hitting the competition?"_ Pichit sounds a bewildered as I feel. This is completely unplanned. She wants me to go kill a master assassin just because he's a few minutes away. That's such an angry move. Even I, who knew and loved N the most, wouldn't do that.

 _"I'm relaying orders. That's all"_ Minako's voice seems agreeing. Amber is starting on the wrong foot if us three of all people are doubting her. Though, it's not like N never gave us questionable orders.

"I'll check it out" I reply as I run down the front stairs and around the corner, taking the street that leads to the station.

"Oh and If I get injured I'm going to your house Pichit. It's closer."

 _"Nothing will happen to you"_ his voice sounds pinched. He knows I'm not invincible, he knows who I'm about to face.

"You can never be too sure" I mumble under my breath, skidding to a stop when I realise I'm in front of a blue sign with Arsenal written in white capitals. He's not far now.

 _"He's close, seconds away from the corner in front of you"_ Pichits voice lowers, fitting the dark and tense atmosphere I'm surrounded by. Not skipping a beat, I quietly sprint to the edge of the wall and press myself against it, make myself part of it. I can hear his boots against the concrete, his pace hasn't decreased so it's likely he doesn't know I'm here. But that could just be a bluff, it's a trick of mine too.

 _Closer_. I slip out my most powerful handgun.

 _Closer_. My gloved index finger finds the trigger and rests there.

 _Close_. Like lightning I whip around the corner and point the gun at his nose.

We both freeze then. Me holding him still with one black gun an him holding me in place with two silver ones. Pichit and Minako audibly gasp through the comm.

Finally I get to see the famous Silver mask to mask. He's definitely male, we got that right. He's taller than me. It's also evident that the rumors are true; what makes him so good is that he can handle weapons with equal dexterity in both hands. I can't tell by the way he holds the weapons, both grips straight and steady.

Our arms, mine sandwiched between his, fit like a perfect puzzle, like we were born to hold guns at each other. We both know that one wrong move means chaos for either one or both of us.

He looks like a parody of me, almost the same but instead of black and blue his costume is white and sliver. There's something unsettling about his mask, it's mostly white but some sections, including where his eyes are, have mirror pieces instead. It's like he wants his victims to see themselves as they die. And if I find it unsettling to anyone else it's horribly fucked up.

 _"Stomach down. Blind spot"_ Pichit instructs. I understand his disjointed sentence perfectly; if he has both hands full with guns he'll struggle to block a kick.

I slam my foot into his stomach and as soon as his barrels aren't staring me in the face I plant a much more forceful kick square on his chest; a lot like the one I gave Victor but more ruthless.

Silver propels onto the floor and freezes for a moment, as if realising something. He can realise all he wants because for me that's nothing but a window. I leap for him and twist both guns from his hands, straddling his chest, drilling my knees into his arms, pointing his guns at his face. I hate compromising positions. Pichit will definitely tease me about this later.

I could kill him right now. But I only said I'll check out the site, I didn't make the executive decision to kill him.

He finally makes a sound; he groans and I just know he's rolling his eyes. But that groan... he isn't a man, he's a _man_.

My hesitation has a price; that being him grabbing my hips and hurling me off of him with more strength than I was expecting. Once I stop rolling I feel the road under my sleeves. Luckily I still have one of his guns. Glancing up, I notice he's bending to pick up the other one as it lies by my shoulder. Thanking Lucifer for my flexibility, I get my legs over my head and kick him in the face, hard, so hard something on his mask cracks.

His loss of balance allows me to scramble up, steal the gun and kick his ass. Literally.

He stumbles forward but when he turns he's got two long blades in hands. Well shit. He charges for me. I pull the trigger. The bullet bounces off one of his blades. He copies my kick, flat and hard on my chest, throwing my body onto a red car bonnet. I hear the glass crack against my back. Man I feel sorry for all the recipients of my kick, it hurts like a bitch.

Before I can start to move a hand grabs the bottom of my navy blue trousers and pulls me to the edge of the car, spinning me around smoothy. God, this is a compromising position. Until a sharp edge is held against my throat and a hand presses the small of my back into the car, then I forget about it.

 _"You look like you're being fucked against a shitty car after a frat party"_ Minako's yelling is heard in the background but Pichit said the right thing. The perfect thing to fire me up with embarassed rage because I would never be fucked like this. Ever.

So, quick as can be, I draw a dagger from my belt and plunge it above his right hip bone, not needing to see him to know the spot. Out of pain and surprise he lets his guard down, just enough for me take the blade at my throat from him forcefully and spin to slash it across his chest. It doesn't draw blood, it only rips some parts of his costume, showing a slither of pale skin.

A tall man with impressive strength and pale skin. Could be anyone.

I swing again but he swings too, our blades clashing loud. From then it becomes some sort of sword fight, him on defence and me on attack. The tables turn though, he tosses the blade into his other hand and disrupts my pace, turning me into the defender,  pushing me back against the car with every strike.

He still has the dagger stuck in so I stick it in further, kicking the handle so the entire blade is in him, that'll slow his movements.

He grunts again and jams his blade  through the bonnet for support, trapping me between his body and the car. The other hand goes for the metal inside him but I boot him in the balls to stop him from touching it. Forget men's code or whatever, if I need to kick balls I'll kick balls.

As expected, he doubles over, probably cursing under his breath. The perfect window. I hop onto the car and sweep my heel against his temple hard, swinging him to the floor like a rag.

When I jump off of the car I land with two feet on his chest.

"Gaah" he yells, strangled, voice deep. I don't take a second to hold both his blade and his gun to his face, straddling him again to keep him down. I could put this with Victor's gun, maybe start collecting weapons from others. Saves them being traced back to me.

 _"She wants him dead"_ Minako reminds me.

It's then that things don't really fit for me. What purpose is there in killing a fellow assassin? He didn't even kill N. We don't know who did. Amber doesn't know. She shouldn't care. Why does she care? They aren't even our competition. This isn't supposed to be a war of revenge killings. They kill one of ours, we kill one of theirs, they reciprocate... to what end?

N wouldn't do this. It's not right and it won't work.

Divided we fall - and we're divided enough already as it is.

I relax on Silver, sliding his weapons into the back of my belt. I know he's staring, he must be shocked that I didn't go through with it. And he's not even trying to kill me. This was all pointless, we were both just trying to work, so we could go home. Now he has to go home with a ripped costume, pained balls and a deep wound. For nothing but an idiot blindly following orders. Well, I used to think I blindly followed orders but I see now that it's not true; I followed all of N's orders because they were wright, I felt they were. I don't feel this is right at all.

With a sigh I slide down a little, so I'm straddling his stomach instead, and reach into the inner pocket of my waist coat, where I keep my feathers. Gently, I rest my electric blue symbol on his chest, before standing up. I can tell his eyes are trained on me so I nod to him respectfully, hoping he'll see all this as an apology, or a declaration of peace.

 _"What the hell"_ Minako says, she doesn't sound angry, but shocked. She'll be so mad later.

Silver doesn't make any attempt to move or attack so I calmly walk off in the direction I came from, filling the empty streets with my steps. I wouldn't feel any better right now if I had gone through with it. I know that.

 _"See you at mine okay? I'm off to make a salad"_ is the last thing I hear in my comm before radio silence.

\--

Still fully in Black Knight gear, I step out of the car I _borrowed_ and onto Pichits front lawn. It looks nice in the day, fresh green grass cut by an artistically paved white path. The night takes some of its charm.

By the time I'm at his huge white door he swings it open, as if he has some sort of Yuuri radar in his brain. I wouldn't be surprised.

"Hey" he says, eyes soft, like always. People tell me how cold he can be sometimes; I've never seen such a thing.

Saying nothing back, I stride into his stupidly large living room, my boots clacking against the white marble floor as I go straight for the tan coloured sofa. I always think that this is the closest I'll get to being inside the white house, this place has that feel about it.

As Pichit heads for his long wooden dining table on the other side of the room I have the decency to slip off my black boots before putting my feet up on the coffee table, letting the sofa swallow me. I haven't been in such a taxing fight in... years.

Before I can start to overthink things a large glass bowl is placed in my lap. Filled with lettuce, prawns and mayo. He even picked out the leaves I don't like.

"You didn't have to" I say, my eyes following him as he walks to sit next to me. He must have got in recently, he's still wearing a salmon dress shirt unbuttoned just passed his collar bone and black jeans, his usual work attire.

"I did. And I'm going to take this off because I can't stand it" he pulls my hood down and fiddles at the buttons on the side of my mask, pressing them in the correct order to get the metal strips around the back of my head to retract into it and give way.

"I like it" I comment, blinking to adjust my eyes to the brightness.

"It feels like talking to a stranger." He grumbles, putting his feet up next to mine.

"Do you ever wear normal socks?" I ask, eyeing his rainbow socks.

"We don't do normal" Pichit twinkles his toes and grins. This is good, it keeps me from overthinking. 

"You look flushed" he fans his hand at my face. It does nothing to help.

"He really tested me Pichit" I sigh, staring at his 4k curved tv even though it's black with nothing. If I really wanted to kill him there would have been no test but I have to give credit where it's due.

"I know. It was like watching your gay awakening"

My eye twitches angrily.

"Fuck you Chulanont. I'll shove tea bags in your eye sockets" I growl, feeling even more flushed.

"You need to get out of England" he giggles.

"Sorry. I mean, Minako and I weren't breathing. It was intense"

"Did I... do the right thing? I think I did but-" not knowing what to say, I find comfort in stuffing my mouth with prawn and green.

Pichit sighs, his face deep in thought. I can only stare at him, desperately hoping he'll solidify my belief.

"I'm with you Yuuri" he offers me a smile and it's more relieving than I could ever give him credit for.

"It'd only make things worse. They would go for you... we can't lose you too" he looks down sadly at my mask as it rests in his lap.

"I didn't want to start a war" I say once I've swallowed. As Jesus said: turn the other cheek. Or something docile like that.

"Yea... if you punch me in the face and I don't punch back... nothing happens.  You have no reason to punch me again."

"Precisely" I nod between chewing. Pichit sees it like I do.

"What did Minako say? Off comms?"

"Nothing.  She just left my office without a word. Super weird" he shrugs with a turbulent look on his face. He's wright; she's a woman of many words.

"She'll yell at me tomorrow" I grumble. I might need to accidentally lose my phone.

"How could she? She loves you" Pichit says as if it's totally true. What does he know?

"And how does that make it any less likely?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Well, everybody at Union loves you. You're well protected" he pats my thigh in useless reassurance.

"What is wrong with you people? I'm an asshole" my face screws up as I slip a prawn in my mouth. It's the same with Victor; why does he want to spend time with me when all I do is make him look sad? People are too complicated.

"That's what you think" he winks, stealing a prawn from my salad.

"I think it's because you lack certain things that you're charming. People just fall for you faster than they fall down stairs." He shrugs again and I'm about to ask him to stop being so damn complicated when I feel a tickle on my thigh.

"Bloody hell Pichit" I say more to myself than to him because I could have seen this coming. 

"You have a hamster problem. You need medical attention" I pinch the back of the gray hamster and hold it up to him, next to my very deadpan face.

"What I need is more hamsters" he takes it from me and rests it on his shoulder, "you know, I got a black one recently and I named it Black Knight.  I call it Katsuki sometimes."

I groan so loud I'm sure his neighbours hear it.

"What? I'm lonely and I like hamsters. I'm like a creepy cat lady just not creepy and not a lady. So really I'm an incredibly handsome and successful hamster man." He flashes a salesman grin and I just sink further into the sofa.

"Something's burning" I mumble, sniffing the air.

"Oh! My pizza!" Pichit shoots up, that gray rodent still on his shoulder, and dashes for the kitchen.

"Go burn in hell with your nasty pizza and your infestation of hamsters!" I yell after him. Smiling. I just defused a war. I did the right thing. Pichit is still Pichit. All is perfect. 

 


	8. Fumes

  
"Yuuri, have you seen my DS?" Minami asks, absorbed in pottering about the coffee machines but not actually making coffee. Well, we just opened and are alone.

"I told you to stop bringing that to work" I mumble as I refill a machine with coffee beans. Sometimes I'd catch Minami in the store cupboard playing on it. If customers didn't like him so much Yuko would have fired him long ago.

"How else am I going to finish Phantom Hourglass? Do you have any idea how long it takes to complete?"

"Yes. I've played it" I feel a little less disapproving now.  The game is great and very extensive thankfully. Not like spirit tracks, that was rushed for money.

"Woow. I knew we were connected" he gasps; poking my cheek gently.

"Millions have played that game nugget" his cheeks dust pink. He's probably realising I'm right.

"Don't you crush my dreams!" He bumps me with his shoulder and gets back to searching, he even looks in the bin.

"What does it look like?"

"It's pink with a Kirby sticker on it"

"Good choice of sticker. Haven't seen your DS though"

"What other games do you like?" He seemingly gives up to watch me clean the espresso machine I just restocked, leaning against my side.  He doesn't comprehend personal space which is surprising for a Japanese kid.

"Um... Ace attorney is amazing."

"Oh! I've heard of it, I'll buy it immediately." His eyes light up.

"If I said I like the Jamaica you'd buy the whole island wouldn't you?"

"If I had money to spare"

"Oh how you spoil me" I say sarcastically, smirking down at him. His cheeks turn even redder. I think it's his immediate reflex to teasing.

"Very funny Yu-san" he pats my back and I can't hold back the wince. Silver throwing me around really took a toll on it.

"You alright?" His hand goes up and rests by my neck.

"Old man problems, you wouldn't understand" I wave him off as I clean but he doesn't move. 

"You're six years older than me" he doesn't look amused.

"You'd be surprised how much stress ages you"

Minami kneads that spot where his hand is and I reflexively let out a strangled exhale, hanging my head forward at the release of tension in that area.

"Knew it. You're all knots," he leads me to the counter and turns my back to it, climbing behind me to sit on the surface. I note he's wearing black and pink Adidas originals that look like they've been through three hurricanes as his legs dangle on either side of me.

Now both his magical hands are back on me, pushing all the right buttons,  smoothing out the tension. This time I groan.

"God Yuuri you're so tense, anyone would think you fight crime" he says, breathy. If only he knew how right he is.

"Mm" I lean back against the counter, feeling Minami's heavy breath tickling my hair.

Then my phone rings. Groaning for a whole other reason, I slip it out of my apron and answer.

"Hm?" I hum more from the massage than to the person on the phone.

"Hey Yuuri"

"Oh, hi Victor" Minami's rhythm falters fractionally. So does my heart. All I can think of is the rink.

"I need you urgently" that sends chills down my spine.

"For?" I groan when Minami moves lower.

"To bring me coffee"

"Don't you have servants for that?"

"My secretary and everybody else is really busy. It looks like Grand central station in here. And I'm going to pass out if I don't get some caffeine in me."

"We don't do deliveries. Can't you send the bin man or something?" Both Victor and Minami laugh.

"Please. I'll pay any amount of money. I'm dying. I had one of the worst nights of my life. Please." I sigh. I guess I can, it shouldn't take more than ten minutes. He sounds really desperate too.

"Fine b- Minami, don't go near my spine, or the base of my back. It hurts there." I comment, turning to see him nod wordlessly.

"Am I... interrupting something?" Victor's tone changes to something darker than I'm used to.

"Well, you got in the way of a really good massage but it's alright"

"Hm. I see" his words come short.

"Anyway, what do you want?" I ask, trying not to relax even more into Minami's hands. But it's like he's upped his game somehow. 

"You know how much I trust you with my coffee. Give me something powerful." His voice sounds like it's getting back to its usual warmth.

"Are you that close to passing out?" I chuckle, imagining he'd be really dramatic when he passes out. I think he'd go down like a damsel in distress.

"Yes"

"Alright. See you in 5" I tap the red button and slip my phone back into my apron.

"Do you want to finish with this first?"  Minami asks tentatively, like he's trying to convince me. He's not doing a bad job at that.

"If I had it my way we'd be here for hours" I chuckle,  turning to help him down.

"So Victor wants a personal delivery? What rudeness" Minami dramatizes, watching as I make his coffee.

"This wouldn't be happening if you hadn't given him my number" I glare at him mockingly. He doesn't say anything back, just looks into middle distance. 

"I can deliver for you. I don't want you breaking your back gramps" he teases, winking.

"Don't make me hit you" I load the cup with coffee. This should give him a kick.

"I'm so afraid!" he wails. Freezing his stupid pose when a serious customer strides in.

When the coffee's done I place it on the counter and slip on my tan gloves, preparing for the mild cold.

Now it's my turn to see Victor at work.

 

* * *

 

 

When I got to the embassy it's like people knew exactly what I was there for, every receptionist I came across pointed me to the floor Victor works on.

Eventually I come to stand in front of tall double doors with 'Security Department' written on a gold label.  The hallway I'm in has a tall ceiling and is very empty. Even my breathing echoes. But behind the doors I can hear  so many muffled noises.

I push the door open and bump straight into someone's back, luckily saving the coffee before it spills on her.

"Sorry" the woman turns and I get to scan her, she's blond, obviously Russian, tall and wearing a burgundy office dress.

"Where did you come from?" She asks, seemingly interested in my face. And everything below it.

"I'm here for Mr Nikiforov" I say, kind of intimidated by her intense blue eyes. They aren't as bright as Victor's or striking as N's.

"Oh Vitenka? He's a little... occupied" I follow her eye line, through the packed room and to Victor. I don't know how I didn't spot him before because he stands out in a way I've never seen anybody do before. He's just standing there, on the same floor as we are but somehow he looks so much better than us. Maybe it's the way he wears his finely tailored crisp black suit with a navy tie that really brings out his eyes. What really makes a suit is knowing how to wear it. Victor ticks that box.

Victor opens his mouth, then stops himself, probably realising he won't be heard over the noise and people running up and down. He wasn't joking when he said this place was like Grand Central station.

Interested, she and I watch him climb onto the desk behind him slowly, like it hurts to do so. The moment of weakness is gone as in a breeze when he recovers that powerful stance of his; shoulders square and head high.

People stop what they're doing as they see him, trapped by his power the same way I am. When the whole department fall to dead silence he clears his throat.

"This!" He gestures passionately at all of us, "Is a mess!" He's practically roaring, an angry vein popping from his neck. His eyes are hard like I've never seen before. 

From there he starts spewing harsh Russian; giving people orders as he points his finger at them. From his rant I pick up that there's some sort of issue with the Russian Mafia coming to London.

By the time some people have quietly scattered off to do the work Victor has given them he reaches the woman next to me, signalling her and telling her to make a call. His eyes sweep past and just when I think he hasn't seen me they return, burning into mine even at this distance. Something about his expression changes as he looks at me, it melts from ice to water. Everyone else notices too because the whole department is turning to stare at me like remote controlled cyborgs.

The same finger he was using to point and order he uses to beckon me forward, hooking it as if to draw me in. Strangely, I feel and added force on my back as I gulp.

Then, something surreal happens; the Russians in the room part as if I'm Moses and they're the river.

At this point it'd be worse if I just turned around and left so I walk through the path created for me, toward Victor, slowly. What feels like an eternity is over fast when I reach the desk.

"Hi!" He chirps as he sinks to sit on the desk rather than stand, like he wasn't just yelling at people.

"It's good to see you're not dead" I smile and shift my weight, still feeling eyes on me.

"Good to see you" He says it not in the flippant way one friend might say to another, he says it like it's the most meaningful thing, maintaining eye contact as he slides the coffee cup from my hold.

Then, Victor drinks way too much of the coffee in one take.

"Fuck, hot" he breathes, fanning his mouth.

"What kind of barista would I be if I brought cold coffee?" I cross my arms and give him a mockingly cocky look.

"I should have guessed, Mr Perfect" he winks, swinging his feet and lightly brushing his ankle against my leg. I shiver and immediately pray to god that he didn't notice.

"Never mind that; did  your staff go to the same theatre club as you?" He frowns when I jab my thumb over my shoulder, at the people I know are still watching, like he didn't notice them until now.

His frown turns to a laugh when he sees the Biblical scene in the room. Then he barks something that sounds like 'get moving' and everybody scatters like marbles, disappearing into office doors or out into the corridor.

"C'mon" he returns to soft tones, leaving a lingering touch on my forearm before heading down a corridor to the left. I follow, timing my breathing.

"Are you alright?" I ask when I can breathe, having noticed he's walking slightly different than usual.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he frowns when we stop outside of a door, a gold plate with the name 'Head Of Security' engraved in formal capitals.

"You're walking... different" He looks startled at my discovery before smiling,

"God, I had my face in a file, walked into the edge of a desk, awful. Beware of desks" He mumbles, opening the door and signalling for me to go in first. The story is so outrageous that I believe it, it fits Victor like a glove.

When I step into the office I'm greeted by an ample circular room. In the room there's a long mahogany desk with little on it; just yet another gold name tag in the centre front, a grey corded phone in the corner, an open MacBook air, a pen and a pocket sized diary. There's a large arched window to the left and an even bigger Russian flag hung on the wall behind the desk.

"Sorry about having to call you down here; I really needed the company" He sighs, striding toward the desk.

"You called me for coffee" I note as I follow.

"Yes but why not kill two birds with one stone?" He turns, winks. I combust.

"Anyway, how is your day fairing?" he sips the coffee, puts it down next to his laptop and falls into his office chair; lounging like he belongs in the presidential office.

"I'm more interested in your day; worst night of your life? Russian mafia in London?  now that's a story" I idly tap the glossy wood of his desk.

"ugh" he groans and tilts his head back, unfairly displaying his pale neck, like a canvas waiting to be painted, "We aren't ready for them at all, they could be bringing guns or drugs or-"  
He pauses, blinks, then throws himself forward.

"You know Russian!?" His jaw hangs and mine clenches; I hadn't noticed the slip.

"Da; I used to work with Russians"

"Wow..." again, the dreamy look is back.

"I um, should get back before Minami breaks something" chuckling nervously, I scratch behind my head. His dreamy look is gone.

"Yuuri... Does Minami fancy you?" Victor leans back and crosses his legs again, a light frown on his face as he pulls his wallet from his suit pocket.

"What!? No, he's just clingy. His taste can't be that bad" I attempt to laugh it off but Victor look even more serious than before.

"Why would liking you require bad taste?" He cocks his head to the side like he has no idea.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm..."

"You're...?"

"I'm me." I signal at myself, trying to communicate to him that being me means I'm plain, and heartless, and a murderer. I have no skills outside of killing, I have nothing to make me desirable.

"So... You're saying, by being Yuuri Katsuki you're undesirable?" Victor grips the arm rest in a way that's almost angry.

"Essentially, yes" my voice is barely above a whisper as I drop my eyes to my feet. The way Victor's looking at me makes me feel like a child who's done something naughty in the playground.

"Which bin did you find that Idea in?"

"What?" I look back up and he's standing, circling the table so we come face to face. His expression... its intimidating.

"Yuuri you're special; you're the most desirable person I've ever met"

"You need to get out more" I laugh through my nose and attempt to smoothen the moment.

"Stop putting yourself down dammit!"  
He barks loud and without a seconds delay.

I don't jump. I painfully trained myself to be immune to that, just like I've almost killed myself several times developing immunity to poisons.

However I am surprised, my eyes do widen and my breath does catch.

We stare at each other and with each passing second Victor's expression turns softer, more shocked.

"Oh my god" he breathes in Russian before grabbing me and pulling me into his embrace.  While I have no idea what's going on Victor holds me gently, fitting my body against his like a puzzle. He's warm, sturdy; like safety I never thought I needed. As one hand lazily plays with my hair I inhale his air; the gentle smell of cologne and refreshing scent of the suit my nose is pressed against.

I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life is this moment.

"I'm so sorry Yuuri, I didn't mean to shout at you" I feel, more than hear his murmur, through the vibrations in his chest.

"It's alright, really" awkwardly, my arm snakes around and rubs his back. I don't really hug people, it doesn't feel automatic to me. 

"It makes me sad when you discredit yourself, so naturally, it's like a reflex"

"Sorry... when you get bullied... it Never really leaves you" I whisper, standing there uselessly as Victor holds me tighter, wordless in his concern.

My heart becomes heavy because this is my first time admitting that I'm still affected. Not in the way that criticism toward me makes me cry in my room like I did as a kid, not in the way that I'd be afraid of my bullies but in a way that my childhood has shaped my esteem,  my sense of self worth. People were so vocal about their dislike that it made me dislike myself. Luckily that doesn't get in my way because the social aspect of my life isn't my priority; as long as I'm good at killing no other faults concern me.

Victor, to my surprise, doesn't say anything. He steps away, causing both our arms to fall to our sides. It feels awful,  like a blanket of warm being pulled away for an icy air to bite my skin.

"Here" he hands me a note with a smile. 

"This is like triple what you're supposed to pay"

"One tip for you, one for Minami and one more for good measure" I shake my head with a small smile as I walk to the door. Victor beats me to it; jogging ahead just to open the door for me because he's that much of a gentleman.

"What did Minami do to deserve a tip?" I ask, leaning on the doorframe. Of course, it's a joke, I'll give him all of the leftover money.

"He's a charitable cause" Victor grins.

I snort, then try, then fail to hold back a laugh.

"Don't mock me for being philanthropic!" I know he's trying to make me laugh more.  It does work.

Once the laugh goes silent in my throat and I sigh the rest of my amusement out Victor speaks again.

"You're beautiful when you laugh"

What?

I attempt to vocalise the thought but nothing comes out of my mouth; I simply stare, and blink at the man.

"In Fact," his smile stretches more, "You're always beautiful"

Gravity has never been so heavy on my shoulders, not even when I'm free falling off buildings.

My mind is torn between run away and he's lying and kiss him, so much so I feel dizzy listening to the screams.

I go for run away; as I always do in these situations.

His eyes follow my back until I'm gone from their view.

 

**Author's Note:**

> please comment, kudos, and give me attention on tumblr at wifeofanime.
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter and the many more to come!


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